This Moment of Change

The first thing I did when I got home was make a big furious fuss out of myself. I was impatient with everything. The maze of parking at the terminal started it. To reach "First Floor" you apparently wind your way up and down three randomly placed escalators. Then the waitress at the first restaurant we headed for - all I wanted was a cold beer and a salad - wouldn't serve me without my I.D., which was in my purse at the time but I had convinced myself was in my luggage back at the house. Such is the power of my imagination in times of transition, you could say. Storming with quiet fury out of the place in my Ukrainian dress with Dan trailing in my wake landed me at my parents' house frustrated, feeling like a comet hurling at my people from outer space.

My mother quickly disarmed me as I revved up to high gear with a short but effective lecture on not saying anything critical or negative. We breathed tensely for a few minutes, then Dan came inside the house, and the spell was broken. A vital moment passed and the bond pressed, still sealed.

My dad is a harder egg to crack. He wants to hang out, and I need to make time for that. We all went up to Grandma Vi's on the lake in Wisconsin, and that was fabulous - Gary and Betty brought homemade chewy chocolate chip cookies. And it's been wonderful being together with Grandma and Grandpa. Laurie is here, arrived yesterday. The family feels loving and stong, and that's quite beautiful.

Grandpa had a rough day today when Grandma left to get groceries. Laurie helped him to bed, and their nurse Julie came. Mom walked in in the midst of the episode and Dan and I arrived shortly after that. We ended up relaxing with Grandpa in bed for a while, sitting in a circle and chatting. I sat by his side and held his hand. It felt cold, and the skin was so soft and smooth, like filo dough from the fridge. He told me, "You have found your eye," when we were talking about my adventure. I suppose I have, in a way. It's an eye that looks inside and sees really interesting things.

It's like my imagination is wandering. We'll see where it goes. Hopefully somewhere happy.