My Blog Turns One Week Old!

Six out of seven ain't bad, right? Still no word from the Peace Corps. Last night I had another heart-to-heart with my husband about going. Am I crazy for wanting to do this? He's so supportive. I worry that if I leave, he'll be too lonely. I don't want his heart to break! I want this time to be good for both of us. I want us to grow as individuals, to find our purpose, to realize our dreams are within our grasp. It wouldn't be worth it if I'm out there in the world, finding my success, while Dan's back here slowly dying inside. I want to find a way to make this work for both of us. I also want Dan to feel confident of me and my abilities as a person. I want to make him proud of me. I want to feel sure that he's going to be okay. Some things are not always easy to know before you do them, though.

Try as I might to imagine how it will be, I just don't know how I'll react or how Dan will react. I just know that 27 months is a finite amount of time. I know that now is a good time, while we're young and flexible and willing to do these outrageous sorts of things, and before we have kids. I know that Dan is a very good husband and person. I know that I'm committed to him and our family. I feel that the Peace Corps will change my life for the better and I'll be able to embrace strength, confidence, and skill, all the while contributing significantly to the health and well-being of my global community. Is that reason enough to try?

Last night, my sister-in-law, Katja, remarked, "Just make sure you don't sacrifice your community here to find a community somewhere out there." She's right in many ways. Will I be able to forge enough bonds and links of communication to make this effort a success, without sacrificing my family and my future with Dan?

The waiting continues...